Kim's Neuroses

This is why I think you should always give the benefit of the doubt and you should not assume. It's so easy to get all wrapped up in your head, second-guessing motives and such. Really, though, it's usually not about you. More often than not, I'm on the receiving end of the assumption. Someone will think that I'm mad at them or that I've done something uncaring to them on purpose, when really, it had nothing to do with them at all. That is one of my biggest hang-ups; constantly thinking that someone is mad at me for something that I didn't even know about. I really have an irrational, almost phobia of that very thing happening. I wonder if there's a word for that phobia... Maybe "blindsideaphobia". One of the most horrible symptoms of Blindsideaphobia is an annoying vocal tick: the phrase "are you mad at me" will fling itself from my lips before I know it. But I just can't bear the thought that someone might have a problem with me and I didn't even know I did anything wrong. I think that's why the aforementioned story threw a brief knot in my stomach. I couldn't help thinking "Oh, CRAP! Have I done that?!" I mentally ran through all the times I've helped someone move, thinking, "I gotta call them - make sure nobody's mad at me." Of course I repressed that silliness, I didn't actually call anyone. But the mere fact that it crossed my mind is enough to verify that I still suffer my illness.