Ten of My New Year's Resolutions

1. To quit spontaneously bursting into AC/DC's hit song "Shook Me All Night Long". And if I slip up, to have the self-control to limit it to one verse.
2. Start sending fan mail to William Shatner.
3. Start devoting at least a few of my powers to evil.
4. To stop having erotic dreams about Steve Burns.
5. To buy new bras to replace the last ones I bought in 2002.
6. To get that stupid Laurie Berkner song out of my head, which might take ALL YEAR!
7. Start expressing my innermost feelings in Haiku form.
8. Try to figure out exactly when I "jumped the shark" and lost all my coolness.
9. Quit singing karaoke. It never works out. I don't know why I keep thinking it'll be fun.
10. Save up enough money for a plasma TV to hang above my mantle.