this never happened

Brian: When do you want to go to lunch?
Kim: i was thinking the usual time. why?
Brian: what's the usual time?
Kim: well... later than this..
Brian: is that noon?
Kim: ya, around noon, give or take...
Brian: leave at noon or arrive at noon?
Kim: *sigh* whatever! when do you want to be there?
Brian: doens't matter, but I don't like it when you get mad at me for not being there on time and I didn't know which time you meant
Kim: i don't get mad
Brian: you get SCREAMING mad...
and you hit me..
with your gorilla hands...
and take away my pudding!

when should you cry?

I've been thinking a lot about this entry from Dooce. It's about how she got her daughter to sleep at night when she was younger (six months, maybe?). Anyway, it's not so much the post as the close-to-500 comments that got me thinking. There was quite an uproar over the Cry-It-Out (CIO) method of sleep training. Many of the commenters believed that it was cruel and unusual punishment - letting your baby cry all alone in a crib by themselves. Their reasoning was: why would you go against instincts as a parent? They asked: if it's so hard on you, as a mother - if you sit on the other side of the door and cry on your husband's shoulder as you listen to your wee infant sob - why, then would you do it? Their platform: "Forcing your infant to scream in terror so you can meet YOUR needs while completely ignoring the needs of someone you *claim* to love more than anyone in the world... is selfish at best...cruel at worst."

Wow.

You know what I think? I think that sleep training is merely the FIRST time you will have a tear in your beer because your dear little angel is crying in the other room. It's not about ignoring their needs, it's about establishing positive habits. Just this morning I dropped my two-year-old off at daycare. He was screaming because he just wanted "one more hug". The thing is, this was about the fifth "one more hug" I had given him. It tore my heart out to walk away from him as he sobbed, "pleeease, Mommy, one more hug!" And yes, I choked back the tears as I got in my car. And yes, I felt guilty as hell. It's not as if he was asking for candy or a new toy - he was pleading for my love. I called the daycare when I got to work so I could make sure he was ok. His teacher reassured me, "oh yes! He's fine. He was upset for a little while, but he's playing blocks with his friends now." And you know what else? I'm fairly certain that when he sees me tonight and I can give him that "one more hug" he will have totally forgotten how upset he was this morning (even if I haven't). But that's what being a parent is all about - teaching your child, even if it’s a hard lesson.