this never happened

Brian: When do you want to go to lunch?
Kim: i was thinking the usual time. why?
Brian: what's the usual time?
Kim: well... later than this..
Brian: is that noon?
Kim: ya, around noon, give or take...
Brian: leave at noon or arrive at noon?
Kim: *sigh* whatever! when do you want to be there?
Brian: doens't matter, but I don't like it when you get mad at me for not being there on time and I didn't know which time you meant
Kim: i don't get mad
Brian: you get SCREAMING mad...
and you hit me..
with your gorilla hands...
and take away my pudding!

when should you cry?

I've been thinking a lot about this entry from Dooce. It's about how she got her daughter to sleep at night when she was younger (six months, maybe?). Anyway, it's not so much the post as the close-to-500 comments that got me thinking. There was quite an uproar over the Cry-It-Out (CIO) method of sleep training. Many of the commenters believed that it was cruel and unusual punishment - letting your baby cry all alone in a crib by themselves. Their reasoning was: why would you go against instincts as a parent? They asked: if it's so hard on you, as a mother - if you sit on the other side of the door and cry on your husband's shoulder as you listen to your wee infant sob - why, then would you do it? Their platform: "Forcing your infant to scream in terror so you can meet YOUR needs while completely ignoring the needs of someone you *claim* to love more than anyone in the world... is selfish at best...cruel at worst."

Wow.

You know what I think? I think that sleep training is merely the FIRST time you will have a tear in your beer because your dear little angel is crying in the other room. It's not about ignoring their needs, it's about establishing positive habits. Just this morning I dropped my two-year-old off at daycare. He was screaming because he just wanted "one more hug". The thing is, this was about the fifth "one more hug" I had given him. It tore my heart out to walk away from him as he sobbed, "pleeease, Mommy, one more hug!" And yes, I choked back the tears as I got in my car. And yes, I felt guilty as hell. It's not as if he was asking for candy or a new toy - he was pleading for my love. I called the daycare when I got to work so I could make sure he was ok. His teacher reassured me, "oh yes! He's fine. He was upset for a little while, but he's playing blocks with his friends now." And you know what else? I'm fairly certain that when he sees me tonight and I can give him that "one more hug" he will have totally forgotten how upset he was this morning (even if I haven't). But that's what being a parent is all about - teaching your child, even if it’s a hard lesson.

underwires

While driving along the interstate the other day I saw a delivery van for a company called "Ace Women's Underwires". Underwires. A whole company dedicated to the manufacture, sale and distribution of underwires. The accompanying graphic led me to believe that the sold strictly underwires, not underwire bras. Just the underwire part. It's just not something that I think much about. It never occurred to me that someone had to make those. But giving it further thought I am still perplexed. Is the manufacture of underwires so labor-intensive that it deserves it's own company? Why wouldn't bra manufacturers just cut their own? Is it that specialized? Even if you were to produce different types of underwire bras (say, metal and plastic) you wouldn't think that you'd need to order the part. Even factoring in the size differences, surely there's some sort of machine that could be adjusted to cut different sizes of underwire material.

It got me thinking about other, similar products. What else would be just as ridiculous? So my criteria is:
1. It has to be product-specific. For example, zippers would not be a good example because zippers have many varied uses.
2. It can't be used in a do-it-yourself capacity. I imagine there are a few people out there that make their own underwire bras, but not enough, probably, to warrant and entire industry. Candle wicks would be a good example of this - lots of people make candles so there's probably enough to warrant a candle wick company.
3. Although it might be product-specific (say, fish tank rocks), it can't be bought separately. You can't buy a bra and then pick out an underwire to go with it.
4. Similarly, it's not usually replaced. Microwave trays, for example. If yours broke, you might just buy the tray and not the whole microwave.
EDITED TO ADD:
5. That thing is the only thing that company makes. For example, clothes-pin springs would probably not qualify, because clothes-pin spring companies probably make springs of all varieties, wouldn't you think?

I came up with a few items that would fall under this criteria (underwires being one):
* Swiss Army Knife Forks
* Mr. Potato Head Lips
* trash bag draw strings
* eyeshadow applicator tips

Can you think of more?

Two quick back stories then the real story

Tuesday was not a great day. First of all, Brian's office was freezing - 56 degrees. So he posted notes around the office that read:

Notice!
In order to improve productivity and reduce costs, all office thermostats in the IS areas will now only operate at sub-freezing temperatures. To avoid hypothermia or frostbite, please keep productive. And remember, personal heaters are not allowed. Thanks.
The Management

His boss' boss wanted to know who put the signs up. Apparently he was not amused. Then, on the way to the accountant's office, I rear-ended Brian's car. That's right. I banged right into it. We were in stop-and-go traffic and he stopped and I go'ed. By the time we got to the accountant's office we were both in horrible moods. I was even a little teary-eyed. Brian went out to talk to the cops* while I stayed inside to try and get our taxes taken care of.
Now our accountant's name is Doris Fischer. Her husband, Claude, is older than dirt and is her acting secretary.** They have an office in a converted 5-room (total) house in the heart of Eastlake. It's paint, wallpaper and decor are all pretty much original. At least, they probably have not been replaced since the 50's. The whole house leans slightly to the left. But, my dad used her, my granddad used her, and my great-uncle still uses her, so there we were, for the 8th year in a row (or so).
I sat in Doris' office choking back tears, trying to get through our yearly deductions.
"Honey, do you need a co-cola?"
"No, thank you. I'm ok."
"Ya'll have had such a hard day! *sigh* I tell ya! We're just 'gone pray for the Lord to be with you! That's all you can do!"
Being from the south I'm familiar with folks saying they'll pray for you. It's practically common courtesy. Just like, "How's your mom'n 'em?" and "let's get some lunch, y'ownt to?" So I replied, "oh, thank you Doris. I appreciate that." And went back to my receipts...
"DEAR HEAVENLY FATHER..."
I looked up and realized abruptly that Doris had her head bowed. "Oh! Now!" I said as I lowered my head.
"... please be with Kim today as we do her taxes, Lord! Please help us give her good news, Lord, she needs some good news today, Claude..."
Did she just say CLAUDE instead of God?
"...please help this young couple know, Lord Jesus in heaven, that this fender bender is just part of life, and we thank you, Heavenly Father, that nobody was hurt. We just ask, Claude.."
Ok, she CLEARLY said Claude that time.
"... that you touch Brian's boss today, Lord, that he knows that Brian was just tryin' to get a decent working environment for himself and his coworkers. He didn't mean anything by that note, Claude, he was just young."
I peeked with one eye to see if Claude was actually standing in the doorway. Maybe she WAS asking Claude to touch us... I'd need to be ready for that. While I don't normally enjoy praying with my accountant, I kinda thought that praying to Claude was nice. I've been doing a lot since then. "Claude, please help me get through this conference call without killing someone." "Claude, thank you for giving me the patience to watch two straight hours of Elmo." "Please touch the calculator, Claude, such that I might have more money in my checking account than I think I have." I really think it's helped my outlook on life.

*Who's first response was, "you called the COPS on your WIFE?!?"
** When he called me to make my appointment we got everything all scheduled. He called me back five minutes after we hung up. "Ms Cornett, I wanted to see if you needed to make an appointment?" "No, Claude, we just got off the phone. We just made an appointment." "Ok, then. I guess you’re all set!"

The Mechanical Contrivium

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Kim!

1. In her entire life, Kim will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
2. Kim can remain conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after being decapitated.
3. Kim was originally green, and actually contained cocaine!
4. Kim cannot jump!
5. The Church of Scientology was founded in 1953, at Washington D.C., by Kim.
6. Kim is the oldest playable musical instrument in the world!
7. Kim can not regurgitate!
8. It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same Kim.
9. The Kim-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand Kim-fights take place there every day.
10. Britain's Millennium Dome is more than double the size of Kim.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

4 Things Meme

Four jobs I've had:
Lifeguard
Camp Councilor
Convenience Store Clerk
Video Rental Clerk

Four Movies I can watch over and over:
LotR (RotK) (How’s THAT for geeky! A nerd movie in acronym format.)
Forrest Gump
The Color Purple
Desperado

Four Places I've Lived:
Camden, AL
Montevallo, AL
Homewood, AL
Hoover, AL
(that’s just sad!)

Four TV shows I love:
LOST
Boston Legal
The Office
The Daily Show
(there are so many more, this is just a sampling!)

Four places I've vacationed:
Cancun, Mexico
London, England
Athens, Greece
PCB, BAY-BEE!

Four of my favorite dishes:
Sushi (almost any kind)
Rare roast beef with bearnaise sauce
Beans and rice (of pretty much any variety)
White chicken chili
(I could go on and on – I like so many things!)

Four sites I visit daily:
Defective Yeti
Yahoo!
IMDB
ABC 33/40 Weather

Four places I would rather be right now:
In a warm bubble bath
On the beach
In London
At the movies

Four bloggers I'm tagging/slightly alienating:
(since Steph took one of mine and steph IS one of mine, I only have two, neither of which is likely to do it!)
Brian
Michael

Brokeback Mountain

Steph: Ya know, if it's an epic love story, I really don't care who's involved in it, as long as they're good looking. And I don't have to tell you they are. :D

Kim: I keep going back and forth on who's better looking, but I'm sorta leaning toward Jake... I have a thing for mischievous smiles. =)

Steph: Ok, then I think I'll take Heath. You know I like 'em a little rougher around the edges. :)

Steph: You realize we're calling dibs over two actors in a gay romance. Just pointing out the irony. ;)